All Judge, No Jury.

“In the end they’ll judgement anyway so whatever.’ -Kid Cudi.

I used to be SO so worried about what others think of me. I wanted so bad for everyone to be pleased with me and what I did and I have no explanation for why that is. I have many many examples on when I felt that I was going to be judged and I was so worried of the outcome. When I first had my daughter, I didn’t know I was pregnant, I was 16 and sitting in the hospital room feeling so numb to everything but still thinking about what everyone was going to think when they found out. When they found out that I had a baby. I was thinking of my family, my church family and of course my peers.. I didn’t want to be disappointed or ridiculed or talked about in a negative way. I was of course quickly reassured that it wasn’t a bad thing to have a baby, instead it was a blessing and those who were close to me, my support system never for a second made me feel like I was in the wrong or that this whole experience was a bad thing. 

Aside from that there are plenty of other times too where I think about doing something or posting something that’s too much. Then I realized something… I’m not the only one. I feel like women in general are afraid of being judged. I mean, no one really wants to be judged, right? Most people don’t want to do anything out of the ordinary. They don’t want to be loud. Be different. Be more because of the fear of being judged. And it’s not as if they can actually pinpoint a specific person that they’re going to be judged by or even why but the idea of being judged strikes fear in our hears. Okay, that might’ve been a little much but I feel like it certainly resonates with a lot of people out here. It’s something we all can relate to. We simply don’t want to be judged in general and because of this we sometimes don’t allow ourselves to unravel our true potential.

Here’s what I’m going to tell you now, the best thing you can do is be judged. The best thing you can do is have somebody talk about you. Do you want to know why? When you are being judged you are doing something that is outside of the ordinary. You’re deciding to stand up for things, for cause, for issues that not only you have but other people have too. You are also breathing light into some peoples own insecurities and making them realize something they don’t like about themselves. You want to know something else? None of it matters. Them talking about you will not have any real effect in your life. So if they don’t like your post or if they don’t like what you’re saying, it doesn’t matter. None of what they’re saying or sharing or talking about matters. At the end of the day you are the only person that can actually change your life. Only those who are doubting in their life have negative things to say about you and if you are afraid of having a better life, having better potential, having better income or whatever it may be that this new job or new relationship. If you’r afraid of being better due to judgement you are not doing yourself justice. You are not living your life, you’re living theirs.

I need you to know that loud and clear right now. The reason that you are scared is because you are programmed to make other people happy. You are programmed to be better for them. What I want to remind you is that you will only feel your best when you are showing up 100% for you. The best thing you can do is fail. The best thing you can do is try something out of the ordinary. The best thing you can do is have somebody talk about you.

The best thing you can do is have a hater because you know what else? Not every body is a hater. Let me use Mary Kay for example, someone can go on and on about how annoying your posts are and how they hate to see it all the time and blah blah blah but you know what someone else just heard? Oh, Caysey sells Mary Kay? That’s really cool, my grandma used to use that. Or I wondered what lipstick she was wearing the other day maybe I can purchase some from her. 

Do something out of the ordinary. Show people that you are being bettering. You are deciding to choose to be different, to be happy. You will have people make fun of you, you will have family members make fun of you, you may have friends leave.. You will have all of those things happen but guess what? It would happen anyway. They would have talked about you anyway. They would have said they didn’t like something about you anyway. You might as well change your own life. You might as well be your best. Change you relationship, change your income, change your body, change your mindset, you might as well do those things that you are afraid people were going to judge you for or talk about because they do it anyway and you still don’t feel happy. 

Do you, boo. Live your best life because at the end of the day it’s you who has to live through the decisions that you make and it’s you who lives with the outcome.  You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. You have so much potential just by being you. Be the best you. Be the you that you dream of.

with love,

c.p

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