Don’t leave me, please don’t ever leave me. I mean you can if you want to because who am I to stop you but i am so in love with you that it hurts and I don’t think losing you is something I could handle

These thoughts ran over her mind a million times as she stared hopelessly at the peacefully resting body beside her, well practically underneath her. They laid their in stillness with the only sound and movement coming from the constant changing colors on the television screen. But all of her focus was on him. She closed her eyes but she wasn’t anywhere near sleep. As she laid there with her head on his chest and her body aligned almost perfectly with his. She felt the beat of his heart, moving his upper chest pump blood into his lungs which would then lift his rib cage which she felt against her chest, He was breathing heavy, but the kind of heavy you do when you’re sleeping. She couldn’t help but feel as though her weight was too much for him even though that’s where he prefers her to be; right there, as close as she can be. She wishes there was some way to calm these crazy thoughts. He’s never given her a reason to believe that he would leave or do anything to hurt her but she’s haunted. She’s always told herself that she would never base her old relationships on her new one’s. It’s a new person, a new life, a new journey. But here she is.  

-An excerpt from a book i’ll never write (#4) c.p