my heart, my soul

I may just be being emotional but I just love my daughter so much that the other day I literally found myself sobbing. She just makes my heart feel so full, they always said that a love that a mother has for her child is like no other and they are absoutly right. I have always had an unconditionally amount of love for people but nothing compares to the amount of love I have for my little one. I was listening to the song “With Arms Wide Open” and it wasn’t even an emotional song and I wasn’t in an emotional mood but the tears just started rolling and I just started thinking about Colbi and the little girl that she has grown up to me and how much she motivates me to be the best version of myself everyday. That is such a powerful motive. I cannot imagine what my life would be like if she hadn’t came along. She is such a little spunky ray of sunshine and her smile brings nothing but warm happiness in my soul. When I think back on how little she used to be and how young I was, not knowing how to be a mother but doing the best I can. Seeing her little personality develop into this high spirited, loving little human being it makes me feel like I’m doing a pretty good job. I always get asked if having a child is challenging and I’m not going to lie, some of it is. I always think about how my actions and reactions are going to shape and mold her into the person she’s going to be and the woman she’ll one day become. I heard a quote one time that said “If you educate a man, you educate an individual but if you educate a woman, you educate a family.” and I relate that to raising a little girl. Not saying that a man’s contributions to his family are invalid or that woman are greater than men by any means, the quote itself just hit home because I do have a daughter and she does plan on “being the best mommy ever” one day.

Which leads me to the the next thing about being a parent, you’re not just a parent but you’re a constant living example that your children are going to look up to, they watch your every move and you never know what will make the most impact and because of that you have to treat each action like as such. I’m not saying you have to walk on eggshells around them but you should live life to you best ability and show them all of the possibilities that this world has to offer. My daughter was talking the other day and said “am I going to be a mom one day too?” and I said “sure, you can be whatever you want to be.” and she said “I’m going to be the best mommy ever, just like you, riiiight?” and when I say my heart melted… it was a puddle in the floor. All I could say was “Yes babe, anything you want.” and she grinned the biggest grin.

My daughter always keeps me on my toes, she’s four, so she’s nonstop running and talking and getting into stuff and asking questions, there’s never a dull moment with her. I think the only time she stops talking it when she’s sleeping, which is perfectly fine with me because I love the sound of her voice and how curious and intrigued she is by everything. I could talk to her all day about anything and I would never get tired of it. She has so much love and she cares so much about everyone and everything, such pure love. So you see why I get emotional about how much I adore her.

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